Hot For Teacher
By: Alex Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, Michael Anthony
Original Performance: Van Halen
Written by: Alex Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, Michael Anthony

Versions:
  1. Hot For Teacher
    Available on Interpreting The Masters, Volume 2: A Tribute To Van Halen.
    Credits
    Omar Hakim: Drums
    Greg Kurstin: Piano, Producer
    Beck Hansen: Teacher
    Inara George: Vocals
  2.  
 
Lyrics:
Hot For Teacher [Version (a)]:

Good morning, class
I'm your substitute teacher this morning
My name is Mr. Goodbody
We'll be reviewing the text from Moby Dick
So please turn now to page 69


Oh yeah
Teacher, stop that screaming
Teacher don't you see?
Don't wanna be no uptown fool
Maybe I should go to hell
But I'm doing well
Teacher need to see me after school
I think of all the education that I've missed
But then my homework was never quite like this

Got it bad
Got it bad
Got it bad
I'm hot for teacher
I've got it bad
So bad
I'm hot for teacher


Moby Dick begins "Call me Ishmael"
Greg in the back!
You there, Greg, can you quiet down please?
I'm trying to read this text, alright?
I want you to turn in your assignments today
Inara, I'm gonna have to ask you to stay after class


I heard about your lessons
But lessons are so cold
I know about this school
Little boy from Cherry Lane
How can you be so bold?
How did you know the golden rule?
I think of all the education that I've missed
But then my homework was never quite like this

Got it bad
Got it bad
Got it bad
I'm hot for teacher
I've got it bad
So bad
I'm hot for teacher


Tomorrow there will be an essay due
On the dialectical shamanism of David Lee Roth
And there will be a pop quiz
Does anybody have any questions?

Class dismissed!

Oh yeah
Got it bad
Got it bad
Got it bad
I'm hot for teacher
Oh yes I'm hot

Oh my God
 
The Song:

Greg Kurstin, who was in Beck's touring band in 2002-2003, and who produced Colors, has his own recording band called The Bird & The Bee, a duo with singer Inara George. (There is a lot of cross-pollination with Beck there too, as Beck's band members Joey Waronker, Justin Meldal-Johnsen, and Alex Lilly have all been a part of The Bird & The Bee's live band at various times.)

Along with their own albums, The Bird & The Bee at one point released an album collection of covers of Hall & Oates songs. In 2019 it was announced that they were also releasing a collection of Van Halen covers. One of the tracks is a cover of VH's "Hot For Teacher," and Beck does a spoken-word vocal for the song (the bolded sections above).

The original "Hot For Teacher" can be found on Van Halen's album 1984. In it, David Lee Roth plays the part of a student hot for his teacher. For The Bird & The Bee, Beck inverts it, playing the part of the teacher, scolding Greg and Inara by name and getting them to read page 69 of Moby Dick.

Beck told Matt Pinfield on Sirius Radio that he basically improvised his spoken section, and it was done on the same day he and Greg Kurstin were recording "See Through" for Hyperspace.